About Me and My Bastards

They're all bad.


The Lucky

I met Ortensia at a local animal shelter in November of 2016. Her presence and love pulled me from many dark places and her biscuits have brought comfort through the years.

My life used to be a hot mess, but she walked with me through the darkest times into a better life.

She's my good luck charm.


The Introvert

Guen is the shyest person I know. We adopted her and Ortensia from the local animal shelter in 2016.

She didn't want pets or attention for the first 3 years of our lives together. Eventually with patience and a respect for boundaries she came out of her shell. Now she comes over to say hi and get pets every day. She's still scared of other people, but with time she seems to warm up to others.


The Bastard

Felix sucks. I mean we love him and he's sweet when he wants to be, but he's a total dick. We got Felix as a kitten from our friend in 2017.

He has spent his entire life trying to bang the other cats and the first few years that we had him, he loved screaming from 2am-5am every morning and peeing uncontrollably on soft objects. He also constantly harassed my other cats.

Once he got a little older (and got his balls cut off), he started being nice. Now he loves cuddles and playing with garbage. He's less rude, but he'll always be the bastard. We love him anyways.


The Big Boat Lady

Crimson is the baby. We adopted her when I was working at the animal shelter in 2019.

She's the oldest of our cats (17) and she's a princess. She loves cuddles and laying around. She screams for food every morning when she hears me do anything. She likes screaming. She also screams when she thinks there is no room for her on the couch. She wants to be next to my husband and I when we are on the couch and makes it clear that she needs room.

She has a lot of love to give and enjoys making acupuncture biscuits.


The Sassy

Asajj Ventress is our newest cat. She is a senior who we adopted from the Oregon Humane society. She was surrendered to the shelter with a lot of untreated health problems and ended up recovering in a loving foster home for several months. Being an elderly black cat who was shy around strangers, she didn't get adopted for 6 months after arriving at the shelter.

I had a gut feeling to check the shelter's website in early fall of 2021. Something told me I needed to look for elderly black cats with health problems. I found Asajj (Previously Morgan) and she had been there for 4 months longer than any other cat on the site. My husband and I met her and took her home after talking at length about her with the adoption staff.

It took a little bit for her to adjust to the other animals, but now I wake up with her on my chest every morning.

Kirby Von Kirby

The Goblin

Kirby is a senior dog with crippling dementia. He's very sweet (except when he's a dick) and has terrible separation anxiety. We are his fourth set of owners and every time we go towards a door, he freaks out because he thinks we aren't coming back. He is a full blooded Pomeranian with a gimp paw (birth deformity) and a grand total of 6 teeth.

His favorite activities include barking, sleeping, cuddling, biting my husband, and having "mister kirby freakouts". We love him, and he's a terrible goblin monster.

Monsieur Buttpug

The Pug Chug

We adopted Buttpug after fostering him for several months. I met him when I was working at an animal shelter and he needed hip surgery. We fostered him and my husband stopped working to help perform physical therapy and bring him to appointments.

He's as dumb as he is adorable and he wants cuddles and love from everyone around him. He loves trying to eat cat food and sleeping on pillows and blankets.


My beautiful wife

Andy is my favorite. He's the smartest and funniest person I know. He's helped me chill out and take life less seriously. He is completely unpretentious and gives zero fucks about what other people think. He accepts me and loves me for who I am. Andy teases me when I want to do weird crazy tea shit but he doesn't discourage me from being myself.

He is a pretty private person, but what I can say on here is that he loves playing games with me and tolerates my bullshit.


Me, I guess

I do weird tea and food things and write. I've enjoyed many hobbies through the years and like doing my own thing. I like animals, plants, and I guess some people. I tend to cycle through projects at this point and move on when I get bored. This would be because of the cripping ADHD.

I am a "Triple A Battery" (autism, adhd, and anxiety) with depression so I really won the mental health lottery. Because of this I regularly take breaks from writing, reviewing, and otherwise going outside. I also think femmes, androgyny, pretty boys, and nerds are cute. I try to keep myself engaged in the world around me using my taste buds, so I like tasting tasting notes.

I blend tea as a hobby and considered selling said blends in the past which is why I my site and accounts were "luckycatteashop". But then once I started comparing ingredients and conducting taste tests, I decided I much preferred taking tasting notes.

I technically have a background in science (varied work in chemistry, microbiology, biotech, molecular biology, genetics, and plant breeding), lab work (wet lab), and technical writing (grant writing, SOPs/protocols, guides), however my preferred trade is unfettered bullshitting.

My goals in life are to eat and drink delicious things, write, learn, and pet cute amimals. So right now I'd say I'm doing well despite the crippling depression. I smoke a lot of weed, drink a lot of wine, wear a lot of satin, enjoy a nice whiskey now and then, have 2 cheese drawers, and have an entire room dedicated to tea and herbs. Some might say I'm unstable, but I prefer "eccentric".

Last edited: 07/11/2022